I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Randomize
