I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
