i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize