You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
