Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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