OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I think my moral compass just broke
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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