apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
