There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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