At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
