I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
