Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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