I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize