White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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