just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
