in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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