toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
