:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
i now understand why vodka
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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