it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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