i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
