She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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