is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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