please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
