nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Houston, we have a squirter
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
