I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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