you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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