PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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