It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
