Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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