And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
