So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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