I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
