what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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