You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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