Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
