whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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