Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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