Don't you send me to vm
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
