I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
