A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
