i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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