I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Randomize
