you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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