White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
