I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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