There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
