Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Enjoy the penises
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
