What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
