Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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