Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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