You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize
