May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
