Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize