it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Randomize
