hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I am spending my child support on dildos
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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