The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
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Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
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I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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