I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
