Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
