Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
