What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
