just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Randomize