i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Randomize