Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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